The Divorce was overwhelming in every aspect touching and reaching to places in me around me that I never dreamed. Its little tendrils filling up spots in my heart and head that I typically show no one.. IF you ask my dad...."How are you today?" He resounds with "Handsome, Charming and Debonair' .... this is ANY DAY of his life..... you ask him, this is the response you receive. He believes your response as a Christian should always be 'up' I try and most of the time it works but some days... I just it just was NOT happening.
The Lord has brought me through so much pain, so much rejection and loss and ... here I am. A single mom that realizes that the changes are not over. Changes are inevitable and for a person who doesn't like change... its very hard knowing that every day things are changing. Makes it feel just a bit to fluid for my liking. :) I never wanted this for my children ( or me) As my children left yesterday with their grandfather for a weekend with their dad.. I looked at them.. really looked at them.... they hugged me, kissed me and were laughing and just happy. THAT is all I can ask. My son rolled down the window and said, "See you Monday Mom, I love you!" That always makes me take pause and treasure those moments.
God is good though and I trust Him so .... my job is to keep my children in the Word as best I can with them gone HALF the time. But I am thankful that their dad is ( or seems ) to be more involved now in their lives.
I'm so thankful for my children, they are amazing... they are really are..... hard times do that to children. They become sensitive to things around them and to people. They are so sweet to me and help me everyday with house stuff. Although not making them sound like perfect children... (lol) They do want to avoid homework to play outside with friends, they do want to avoid cleaning their rooms.. but I think thats normal.... right? But they are quick and fierce with their hugs and kisses. :)
